Yiiiippppiiieeee.....

ceritanya niy postingan gw yg satu ini mw diawalin dgn alur mundur klo kt dosen literature di kampus gw itu tuh....Ms. Hasnini...well...pa kabar mam??....

as u all know (males y berasa artis bgt yg diberitain di infotainment n smw org tau lo lg ngapain hee...) i'm a news writer...masih pre basic niy ibaratny klo di LIA....
n i'm workin in an english news site....pertama kali gw kerja bneran y ga ngitung2 kerjaan gw yg kemaren2x....heee....muaph niy SINDO ga diakuin....hohohoho......

pastiny jd anak baru hrs nunjukin yg bgus2 dunk.....y iylah smw org jg gtu....
y pokona gw MENGGEBU2x bangged dey buat bner2 bs MENITI KARIER n diawalin jd news writer dsni....dgn mimpi2 kesuksesan, kepuasan dan pastiny HARGA DIRI yg selama ini bner2 jadi harta gw (ibaratny niy itu tuh kaya guci China yg klo berdebu dkit aj gw dah stress bgt heee...)

bner2 semangat 45 bgt dey ato bahkan dobel jadi semangat 90 heee.....

ngelakuin smwny dgn sepenuh hati....halahhh....ampe2 niy rela panas2an demo.....
(which notabene menyenangkan lho...knp dulu pas jaman kuliah gw ga pernah ikutan y?? kebanyakan kongkow2 seeyyy.....)

initiny ga ad hal laen yg bkin konsentrasi gw ma kerjaan terpecah.....i can't tolerate any single mistake...evertyhing has to be perfect......



CUMA.....

more or less sebulanan yg lalu......tiba2 gw jadi ngerasa semua itu ilang dari gw...pikiran gw ke block....sama byk hal2 yg waktu itu menurut gw penting bgt...

masalah sm co' gw...tmen dket gw....campur aduk dey.....ketakutan2x akan kehidupan nantiny gmn....

ribet (mengutip kt tmen gw....ribet means drama for sure in a negative sense....)

ga fokus abiiiiisss........

ga jelas bgt dey gw.....waktu itu...

kya karakter vanessa di smart people tuh mirip2x dey pokokna (well except she would rather spend her time reading her SAT book than visiting her father @ d hospital.......klo gw ga segitu2ny amat kaleee.....)

masih punya hasrat bersenang2x.....

balik lg ke inti permasalahan....hee ky politisi aj...(pdhl niy politisi jg sbnerny gtw inti permasalahanny aj...kebanyakan dari mereka mah yg penting tampil..ngomong.....kasih "sumbangan" sana-sini......dan dpt suara byk..ga ad maksud mendiskreditkan lhoooo.....)


gw bner2 on the edge of breaking down banggeddd......
lg ad di perempatan jalan.............ky filmny britney jaman dulu crossroads...
binun jalan mana yg mesti dilaluin.....

meskipun ga semua pertanyaan n unek2 yg ad di kepala gw kejawab..paling ga kejadian yg barusan gw alamin can totally turn my mood 180 degrees jadi warna-warni....

jadi niy qt ngbrol ngalor-ngidul awalny....aneh dey ngbrol ma niy anak pasti ngebahas hal2 yg sama berulang2 lg tapi rasanya tetep aj pengen dibahas....(hal yg repeatedly dibahas itu mah qt blom dpt jawabanny...tapi siy qt dah bs nebak....pokokny kekecewaan terdalam dey.....heee)

berhubung pake esia...(yg mengharuskan qt ngbrol 1jam lebih bru dpt pulsa 2rb balik....hee...) ngbrol lmyn lama....mpe ujung2ny ke masalah kerjaan....

well...tuh anak mang sehati ma' gw....qt ngerasain hal yg sama ttg masalah kerjaan.....

intiny niy dari obrolan via esia itu....qt lbh byk gw siy hee...ngedapetin pncerahan yg bikin mata gw kebuka lebar klo masih byk kok hal yg bs lo lakuin n lbh penting....

n kemaren2 ini gw dah bner2 put aside all dreams that i've been fight for since d very beginning.....

mimpi2 akan kesuksesan....karier....pengakuan.....ngedapetin real meaning of life....dkk....

thx to tatem....elo mang temen gw yg paling OK dey...

buat ngembaliin kewarasan gw...i'm ALIVE now.....yipppiieeee....i got it back...
perasaan yg dah lumayan lama bgt keblock ma mood hati yg mellow, sinis dan apatis hooooooo...well somehow otu akan ttep ad sey di gw...kan ke-LAMPIR-an dah jd nama tengah gw...heee.......



tatem...me...n' ato...

d' poster....

smart people...

"sometimes the smartest people have the most to learn"......(quoted from smart people d movie)

do u agree on this one???

hmmm.......smart people...hearing those words...

smart people must be d' one who get an A in their class...pass math exam with a blink of an eye.....tend to look down on people cuz they think no one can barely catch up with their thoughts......

but then they were suckers at school...nerdy weirdo people among their friends...that's the strereotypes....


di film ini ad satu karakter ce' yg namany "vanessa"...she's a very smart young girl....early acceptance in Stanford...but can barely make a single friend....and definitely a cynical type of girl....

she always gets angry to everone without any clear reason...it's just what she feel inside....

anger within herself......

it's all because she looked at her father as d' role model......

dad: u dont look happy..??
vanessa: u don't look happy either...u're my role model....

hmm...complicated right?

He inspires me.....

just like many people said...inspiration comes from everything beyond what u can think of....
ga' nyangka gw niy anak keren abis.....

he survived.......from what most people feared of.......cancer....

about less than a year ago...i remembered his brother came to me and told me with nearly wiping eyes that his younger brother suffered the disease that mot people feared of....he soon would soon be operated....

chemotherapy.......hospital treatments thousand times not to say.......all the worse scenarios u can ever imagined....

he's been there....done that.....

and he survived......

just like what the secret tells you about.......the law of the universe will drag u to the positivity beyond ur wildest dream haallllaaaaahhhhh......

great job pattyL.....=P

Separated...

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you




So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Chan9es does occur...

ngeliat foto ini jadi bener2 kangen sama mereka.......hupfh...keadaan mang dah sama sekali ga' seperti dulu lagi....dan klo kata orang bijak...cuma ada satu hal yg ga' berubah dalam hidup ini...y perubahan itu sendiri..jadinya who has to be blamed klo ternyata semuanya berubah???

sahabat yg tadinya deket jadi renggang....org yg dah pacaran bertaun2 putus.....unavoidable....






d' truth is...i really missed the old times....

saat2 dimana gw masih NAIF....ga tau ap2.....lurus2 aj.....bener2 cuma punya keyakinan dan mimpi2....all i'm thinkin' was just trying to save the day...see...naif bgt kan???

mengutip ap yg temen gw blg....mungkin mang enakan jadi org yg naif krn hidup serasa tanpa beban.....kemungkinan sakit hati jg kecil......????

setuju????

awalny siy iy...tapi kelamaan kok kyny feels like i'm being foolished y???

terserah juga org mau blg negative thinking ato ap....but "it's my life".....(bon jovi kaleee.....)

so...i'm in charge.....

i'm d one who supposed to set the rules.....to set my aims....my goals....my decision....my choice......

now...i'm letting everyone elses off the hook.......



i want to live my life............????!!!!!@@@@